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Oh yeah, well you know 99% of us do stumble. Oh that's the whole thing. And you know it's just getting back on that horse and doing it again. You know one day at a time. You can tell I've gone through the system for quite a long time right? But I guess when I was trying to talk about when I saw all these other people you know in the hospital that really should have their shit together and they didn't. That's what scared me the most. That was my point of realization that I wasn't weak. I wasn't different. I was the same as them. And if I didn't take care of this problem well I wouldn't be married now. I wouldn't have had the job for 34 years with one company. I wouldn't have what I have. I wouldn't be talking to you here today because I would have been dead.